MIA, MANY LIFE CHANGES

I have been MIA for most of this year  and I apologize for that. It has been a year of upheaval , change, pain and death. I lost my lover, friend ,soul mate, my husband of almost 40 years, July 2,2017. My Mike had what is called THE WIDOW MAKER heart attack on June 28, he died in my arms and as best as I could I administered CPR until the ambulance arrived, Mike was dead for 10 minutes until help arrived and they worked on him for almost an hour until his heart started beating. He was flown by helicopter to the hospital where they did what they could and five days later his body died. So I experienced the death of my best friend  2 times.
So I am living alone in our home , just me and my dog MOJO. I am just as disabled and in just as much pain as always. I have a major decision to make, should I stay or should I go? Both daughters want me to move in with them, my eldest is a RN married and has 4 kids living at home about 4 miles from me, they are in the process of buying some land and building a home and will build a space for me there as well, but their lives are hectic and busy ,not what I am use to at all. My youngest daughter is single, living in KC Missouri, she wants to sell her home, use my home when I sell it as a down payment and find a home handicap accessible, where we both can have the privacy we need and yet be each others company and support. So decisions decisions, I will probably stay here over the winter because we need to fix the place up a bit before putting it on the market so I will be here all alone until spring. I say all alone, I have company 5% of the time and the rest is just me and my dog, I don't go out , my daughter buys my groceries, I did go out with her once but it was hell and so I just stay home. One good thing, I have a manual wheel chair , I am unable to get around in that chair without the use of my legs, my arms are useless in getting the chair to move, so I bought a new to me electric wheel chair so now I am able to get out of the house into the yard and take Mojo for a walk all over my 3 acres, before getting this chair I was a prisoner of my own home because I was unable to use my chair out in the yard. I bought a hospital bed and another lift chair as well, but they are in the garage until I get new floors put down in my house. I have not slept in a bed for 6 years! I am looking forwards to stretching out in a bed.
Trying to get a monthly income was a pain in the patudy but I finally get disability every month THANK GOD/DESS for that, and I am awaiting a big lump sum of retro back pay that I will use to fix up this house, my floors are buckling and so I need new floors and carpet. Now that I am here all day long with not much to do I hope to begin keeping this blog going .So with that I will call it good.
Blessings
PATC