Saturday, February 18, 2017


Aquarian Tarot

I was curious about President Trump and so I did a reading using my trimmed and modified Aquarian Tarot.

1)SITUATION.  5 of Pentacles.
He is focused on his own personal woes and not able to take responsibility for the role he plays in his problems. He wants the public to stroke his ego and tell him what a good job he is doing even if he has  not done anything of any consequence. He seeks self gratification rather than doing any inner spiritual work therefore He is a wounded and emotionally impoverished man.

2) CHALLENGE. 5 of Swords
He seems to have the bully mentality and in truth suffers from lack of confidence and low self esteem as most bullies do.Hence his need for all his Pep Rallies to boost up his esteem and constant bragging about how good he won the election, although we all know he is president and it really matters little about how well he did in electorial votes. In his business deals He sneaks around taking advantage of lost opportunities of other people because he lacks any skills himself. So in a since he is truly resourceful in profiting from others, he wins by the defeat of others and scoopes in to make the deal, so he incorrectly assumes that he was the one that overcame them, he just benefits from their losses. The challenge is to know the truth about who he really is and about what he truly can and cannot do. Being honest with himself is his greatest challenge.

Disatisfaction with present situations, very uncertain as to how to proceed. Looking for a hand out and opportunity to benefit from. A bit overcome by it all,although his cups are full he is not satisfied and a bit depressed. The opportunity here is to focus on  the good and positive ,he really has a chance to do right and good if he can get out of his own way.

4)ADVICE  Queen of Swords
We all need to be the Queen of Perception here, using our intelligence logic and reason to cut through the crap , confusion and misdirection.

What an interesting read. I am not a fan of the man, if he would stop spending so much time stroking his ego and do his job we would all be somewhat happy.

For what it was worth,

Monday, January 23, 2017


I was watching a video of the TAROT ALCHEMIST on YOU TUBE and she presented the Connecting with your Spirit guide spread. I have never worked with any gudes so being curious I thought I would give this spread a go. I am using the DREAMS OF GAIA TAROT DECK.


6 of Water
I am kindness,concern,compassionate,
understanding,love. I display concern and care,sympathetic,giving,forgiving. I am a gentle soul and a Peaceful Warrior.


I guide you through your thoughts. Your thoughts create your reality . I work through your conscious and unconscious mind. I MANIPULATE INFORMATION.


I want you to know that your choices also create your reality. Everything involves making a choice ,whether you make a decision or not, that is a choice being made, so make your choices wisely.

6 of FIRE

Resolution is required.Be willing to make concessions. Let go of bias. Be open minded.Know the facts. Understand your rights. Don't be stubborn. Healing through mediation. You are a MEDIATOR.

This morning I was telling my husband that I can't seem to fit in ,whether its religion or politics ,I 'm always somewhere in the middle , able to see both sides of the issues and both their pros and cons. A perfect fit a
MEDIATOR indeed.Apparenty I have missed my calling.

Monday, January 16, 2017

It has been almost a year since I posted here on this blog.2016 was a very trying and painful year for both my Husband and I. I lost my Mom in January ,both hubby and I deal with chronic pain and trying to rise above it took all I had to give last year. Money was short, I got  SSI which was only 488$ a month to live on , food assistance and we lost our insurance. With much help from our family ,thank God we did not lose our home. Finally hubby had to apply for early Social Security taking a lower amount , a penalty for not waiting till he turned 65. We started getting that in December. But then he finally got approved for his Disability and soon we will be getting that instead of Social Security and not lose the full amount he will be able to get when he turns 65. We now will get about  year and a half back pay which will help us get out of debt THANK GOD.

Back in the Fall I started to get back to my Tarot studies,although I have used tarot about 20 years I have decided to get more serious about it,not to read for others but as a wonderful tool on my spiritual path. Tarot is an awesome tool for self awareness and spiritual inner growth and transformation. I plan on including my Tarot studies here on my blog this year
Many wonderful blessings,
Pat/ Owlthena

Saturday, February 20, 2016


Being a person that has chronic pain ,illness and mobility issues, finding a religious path has been a major challenge for me. Because there is a mindset within all the faith traditions I have been into that although not always spoken, but sometimes it is, it is the prevailing mindset in them that is troubling and not compassionate, therefore leaves me feeling somewhat always accused of being something less than . Which is one of many reasons I am solitary.
 Within Christianity there is a strong belief in some groups that God or Jesus heals you of all your diseases in this life span and so if you have faith, you can be healed, if you are not healed it is because you lack   faith or God is dealing with you on some 'sin' issues and somehow 'He' is unhappy with me and that I am the reason for my problems.

Or  because of your sins  God is teaching you something through your problems so you can repent and mend your ways, in any case YOU have a problem and it is YOUR fault you are sick and you  are ill or have difficulties or YOU let the devil in to your life some how. So there you are, this is what is going through many Christian's minds when they see you ,how else can they explain me when their teachings are so clear,right? So of course YOU have nothing to offer them since you can't work out YOUR own problems,they say" come back when you are successful or have repented of what ever sins you are hiding , THEN we will listen to what you have to say" when you have a better testimony.
On the Pagan Magickal or New Age path the mindset is , that if you are ill or have some kind of health issues it is because, YOU somehow drew it towards YOURSELF because of the thoughts YOU THOUGHT or it is a Karmic pay back for the life you had before this one and in any case it is YOUR FAULT. Or YOU chose this life before you were born and you have to learn the lessons from it. Or from the Magickal community, if you are sick why haven't you done a spell or magickal working to rid you of this? You must not be very good at it. And if you are sick you should not ever do magick or if you are on medications you can't do magick.

Or if you can't heal your self or get yourself out of the trouble you are in you have NOTHING to offer me. In any case there is not much for you here because YOU have nothing to offer us since you are so full of illness and or pain, come back when you over come it and then we will listen to you.  So because of this I have not been able to camp out in any particular religious mind frame.
I have  nothing profound or full of wisdom to say here, just one of the many reasons I do not fit into any particular religious mindset.  It is just an observation I have over the years .

Do I have an answer to this? I know I am not welcomed because I force people to see that their particular religious beliefs does not always come through for everyone. Many believe that they have a safety net under them that if they fall they will be caught and all will be better . No one wants to suffer, it is not a choice any of us would make on purpose. I and many like me prove that there is no safety net. There is no savior that will save you from this world full of thorns and all the crap that can happen to you. People do not want their happy and healthy bubble to burst. This life is not a bed of roses without the thorns. People of strong faith and magickal ability fall sick, lose their livelihood, get injured, lose a loved one  and all will die in spite of strong faith and magickal abilities they may have . so what is the point of all of this?

We all will suffer something in this life and we are all going to die whether you like it or not and my presence and others like me is a strong reminder of that. You can keep your religions that don't teach you how to live and cope and love in a world full of thorns. You can keep your religions that does not give you the tools to fight and survive and live on in spite of the storms in life.
I have found that in this life there will be many thorns but it is worth it all because there is always a gift waiting at the end of that stem. A religion that does not teach you that life has thorns and that it is natural  to have times of suffering ,is not authentic or true. A religion that  does not teach  that life has many difficulties and you will have many difficulties but those difficulties is the what  cultivates the right stuff that matters most in our growing process.

.Image result for thorns and roses quotes
Therefore I walk on my Eclectic Celtic Christian path ,because it makes it clear what life's purpose is  . It takes the roses with the thorns . Knowing that life is full of beauty like a rose, but it will prick you often because there are more thorns on a stem than there are flowers, just so you know. But oh how wonderful the colors and the smell of that rose, it is worth the journey, it is worth it all. A spiritual path that teaches that this life is a proving ground for something bigger than we can imagine is the one I choose to follow. It may not be the only way , but for me, I think it is, because it answers so many more of my  questions than any other way of thinking. This life is not about finding happiness now although when you can have happiness and joy , enjoy it with all your heart, but know a flower only blooms for a short time so enjoy it while you can. But I choose to seek a lasting joy and happiness which  reaps for me something more enduring than a fleeting moment of bliss.
For what it was worth

Friday, February 5, 2016


Well we are on the down hill slide into Spring, although this winter has been relatively mild I am still looking forwards to consistently warmer weather. Even though our winter has been mild it has not helped me with my cabin fever. January and February are hard months for me. Our yard is flat and  retains all the moisture and because we have not had many days below freezing our yard is soft and muddy. A no go for my wheel chair, so when the wind is not blowing and temps in 50's and above I can at least sit out on my deck and enjoy the fresh air. Before my wheel chair days I loved winter or any season for that matter, but now I can do without winter. I  definitely associate and become one with  one of my totems, the bear in the winter time, I hibernate ,meditate, contemplate a lot this time of the year, but I really wish I could sleep through the season of pain as I call it. Because the pain levels stay between 6-8 on the pain scale consistently in the Winter ,I am pretty much good for nothing,the best I do is some very light house cleaning  , I do dishes just once a day after supper , I fix the evening meal which is usually something I can fix in my crock pot and then have left overs the next day . I may do the laundry  and may fold the clothes on that day or if it is a bad week they don't get folded we just take out of the basket what we want. On a good day I may dust and or mop the floor but that doesn't  happen often, other than that I am useless. Because my arthritis is all over my body ANY movement is painful and I am extremely stiff and movement is a great deal of work for me and I have to really have to NEED to get out of my recliner to do something like pee or get a drink or eat , other wise I ain't doing it. Usually the Internet, FB or YouTube can get my mind off of me, but on these extreme painful days all it does is make me well aware of my very painful and small life. When I am not hurting extremely so, I really enjoy watching what they are doing and I am glad they are able to go out and about, but on these pity poor patty days, not so much.  Hopefully the painkillers will kick in soon so that I can end my pity party and get something done today. I did manage to make some cornbread and chicken egg noodles today so it is not a total wash out.
love and light

Sunday, January 31, 2016


In my 'spirituality' I am seeking to explore the seen and unseen worlds around me without the constrains of any set religious doctrine which makes it easier for me to embrace religious tolerance. - I desire a spirituality that is without borders or confining dogmas.Not that I don't believe in ULTIMATE TRUTHS, but I have found that many religions  say they have that, which I find in many cases differs and contradicts other religion's Ultimate Truths that they say they have, so what I do is keep those UNIVERSAL TRUTHS that all seem to have in agreement .  I strive to have perspectives that points to a more holistic worldview that  emphasizes that the Mind, Body and Spirit are interrelated and very connected and that ALL OF CREATION are connected as well-In the past I have been bound by a negative self image and wallowing in self-doubts which were inspired by religious beliefs taught to me that I now see as not DIVINELY INERRANT  but based in man's thinking to control others.  When I began my journey  to confront myself and my negative thoughts and beliefs and when I began to find the  causes for many of those negative feelings of self hatred and anger, I learned that either I received this information wrongly or that it was just plain wrong ideas being planted in my mind from various means.I have learned that  I  can change those feelings  , thoughts and beliefs to more healthier and truer versions...or  that I can just let them go. That those negatives in my beliefs, thoughts and feelings do not have to control me. This involves taking responsibility for what I think and how I feel; becoming more consciously aware of why I feel ,believe and think the way that  I do. In doing so,I am expanding my conscious awareness. I believe that peace for the world begins with peace within ourselves. The biggest hurdle I am  learning is how to create that inner peace and balance for myself. -The best way to inner peace as I am beginning to learn is to go within. How do you go within? You meditate. If prayer is talking to God, (Divine ,Source, Creator,Great Spirit or whatever word you prefer to use) then "meditation" is the art of listening to God the SOURCE who resides within you.By going within, you connect with your God-Source, there is no better way to connect if SOURCE  resides within than that,because that is where you have to go to do that. So through meditations, of which I am not good at, but I do quiet my mind as much as I am able to do at this time, I contemplate ideas and messages I have received from God/dess and quieting your mind which for me is best done out in nature where connection to Momma Earth is very conducive to opening those gate ways to the Kingdom within. Then  you can receive the answers you seek about your life that you might have. This is what gives you back your power. For we are  children of SOURCE and as a child of SOURCE..we are co-creators and truly One with the Infinite. I do not need a priest or a minister to come before SOURCE to  intercede for me. And that scares many religious leaders. I have come to realize that I do not need anyone to tell me what SOURCE says to me or the plans SOURCE may have for me, SOURCE is truly within us then we do not need a go between to accomplish that.
In my spirituality I NEED THE DIVINE FEMININE to be there in all her glory! I need a sense of BALANCE, it is an important aspect of my life. That half of TRUTH is missing in a lot of religions. One of the major reasons I left the 'religion'  , I and all women are left out and delegated to a sub-servant position in all facets of life. I know that the Bible is a mythology and that   the stories are allegorical or metaphorical and the use of the word male/male/husband and female/woman/wife are metaphors for spirit and body, but damn many of the OT  stories themselves suck ANYWAY,even if I know what is being said spiritually , the only reason one understands the metaphor or spiritual intent is because the story itself is being played out in real life as a fact of life ,the women are indeed lower than men. I can not abide by that thinking in real time or in myths be they Christian or Pagan.
My spirituality also entails NATURE and is a large part of my practice. I spend as much time outside as the weather conditions permit. I plant gardens, I feed the birds, I watch the clouds, I watch for signs all around me of Spirit talking to me. I look for symbols all around me because symbols are the language of Spirit, that is how Spirit communicates with each of us personally, so I strive to learn the language so I can receive connection from them as well.
I love watching the weather changes, the seasons come and go, Grandmother moon changing face everyday. They all have lessons to teach us if you are willing to listen. I am more connected to SOURCE by the SPIRITUALITY I have today than I have EVER been in my life............for that connection I am truly thankful and blessed.
in light and love

Saturday, January 30, 2016


 I have many health issues, some have been caused probably by not eating and living in a healthy way, some issues because of my rotten thinking and beliefs over the years, some because of environmental factors and some issues because of genetic reasons. I have chosen not to give my self shit over it all because that is not what I would do to someone else in the same spot and so why should I do it to myself? The past 5 years have been trying, I lie not, it has been a long and hard road that I have traveled  and wanted to give up many many times. I have learned a lot about myself and my relationship with and towards others because of all my 'issues'. I have become a more loving and compassionate person through it all. I personally believe that all my health issues are the very things that I have needed to experience to come to the place of thought and belief I am  now have.
It has made me slow down considerably and focus on my spirituality and my beliefs and thought processes. I have learned by the negative aspects of my actions, how powerful one's beliefs truly are. I had grown up with a very negative minded family who was not very spiritual or religious and when it came to money had a poverty mentality. I have suffered with depression all my teen and adult life  , I have been in and out of various religions with a variety of different beliefs and many of the things I have FEARED  and worried over and believed, in some way or fashion has become a part of my life because I believed I deserved these things. My beliefs, be they positive or negative are a MAJOR factor on what I am experiencing in my life today. If I had no time for spiritual concerns in my early adult years, because of all my health issues I have a lot of time on my hands now to pursue the Spiritual connections in my life.
So although I indeed want to get better and have less pain, that would be an  extreme plus in my life right now and I am doing what I can physically and mentally to get healthier. I am now focusing on what exactly all my health issues are teaching me and what it is I need to know and hopefully I figure that out soon, but I am choosing to do this from a place of love and non judgement  on myself. I believe if we knew all of this stuff about the power of our minds and beliefs in the first place, we wouldn't be in the sorry state we find ourselves in now, would we?

 This is all about living and learning from our mistakes and from the good we do as well. We are all at various stages of growth on many different levels, I may progress faster mentally than physically and so forth, so the key is not to rush the process but learn it once so you don't have to keep experiencing the same damn lessons over and over again as I have done in many areas of my life.

There are no mistakes. The events we bring upon ourselves, no matter how unpleasant, are necessary in order to learn what we need to learn; whatever steps we take, they're necessary to reach the places we've chosen to go.Richard Bach

Although I am not on the same page about whether or not I have chosen this before I was born, I do know Spirit/Source has a vested interest in my progress. Each decision and choices I have made, whether they were  good ones or not,have all been LESSONS in the great scheme of my life. Although in some instances those lessons have been extremely painful , when viewed from the perspective that this present life is NOT ALL THERE IS  and viewed from the aspect of  ETERNITY , they make  sense that they were needful in my growth in this small speck of time we call our present reality .

In love and light

Saturday, December 19, 2015


I would say I lean towards the non religious aspects of Spirituality. For me 'religion' means a group of people who agree on most of the terms and expressions and rituals and holidays of said religion. In a Religion there seems to always be someone in a leadership position who in many cases relays to 'the people' and laity what their version of the DIVINE has to say to the group as a whole and most often he and their god is male. It seems to me that the people involved in an Organized Religion spends much of their time debating their beliefs with everyone trying to push their beliefs on others as if ours are not worthy to be mentioned or to keep. I find that one's spirituality is such a personal expression of one's self that there is no room for debating who is wrong or right because the nature of it is that your spirituality is only right for you and mine is right for me and lets agree with that. 

When and if we have a spiritual experience of the Sacred 'other' it will , or at least it should mean something only to the person who has it ,because it was your experience and not everyone else. Various religion's scriptures are stories and myths of the authors experiences with the sacred and the Divine and it is OK to tell someone about those experiences as long as you know that they only   mean something to the one who experienced it and the message you may have gotten from the Divine is for you only and no one else ,because each of us should have our own experience with the sacred and Divine and should not take it from someone else because it does not apply to anyone but the one who personally receives it. I believe that we are all capable of hearing from the Divine and the Sacred if that is what we desire, and we are all capable of our own personal experience and expression of our own personal spirituality.

I do not need for any person to tell me what the DIVINE has said to me,who they are and what they want me to do. I believe that I and you are quite capable of getting our own messages and having our own sacred experiences. The Divine knows where I am at and I am quite sure that if they have a message for me they will get it to me some way or fashion . It seems arrogant and narcissistic to me that a person or a religion   thinks that they are the only ones who has the market on Truth. That they are the only one's who are hearing from spirit. There are thousands and thousands of religions and expressions of spirituality in our world, and folks no one has all of the Truth , you may have some but not all.

I have noticed that each country, culture or tribe seems to emulate the Gods they worship, you can find out a lot about a particular religion's gods by the people who worship them. Those that cruel, who love to war and take from others and force their beliefs on everyone else tends to have a Warrior god and it will most often be male or they may be atheist. Those people who love justice, who care for others  and choose not to war with others and who believe in equality will have gods and goddesses that they worship who are like minded, or  they will be secular or atheist for the most part as well. If the people are more into sexual areas their gods will tend to be sexual.Apparently either we are emulating our gods or we are making our gods into our images.
Right now there is a stink about whether or not Islam ,Jews and Christians worship the same God.Here I would have to say at least half of all of them do and that God is a mean ,warrior and vengeful God. The other half seems to have a more loving tolerant and caring God . But why the debate in the first place? If that is what this lady believes, then cut her some slack, that is her beliefs that she is expressing.
I have found that people who do not claim a religion but consider themselves as 'spiritual' are more likely to be tolerant of all religions and can care less what you do or don't believe, as long as you don't bother someone else with it. And those who are in a religion will be more likely to think their's is the true or right one and most likely to be intolerant of anyone's beliefs if they are different from their own. Why is that so often the case? I am not saying it is true in all cases but it tends to be that way at times.
I have tried countless times to enter into a religion but it does not seem to stick because I do not want to be associated with what I see within that religion. I rather go it alone as a solitary and experience the Divine personally without being told what to think or believe and how to live. I  think I am old enough to handle that on my own.
for what it was worth,
in light and love